


Crybaby

by DylanIsABean



Category: South Park
Genre: Bebe is a sweetheart, Body Dysphoria, Dysphoria, Sad, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Self-Love, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-13 18:43:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16023746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DylanIsABean/pseuds/DylanIsABean
Summary: Catch Clyde crying about not being able to do one thing which leads into his reminders of self - hate. It's just a sad rant fic.





	Crybaby

"Why can't I do one simple task." I ask myself, tears already burning my eyes.

I was staring at myself in the dauntless bathroom mirror cover in a mist of fog plastered over it, my hazy reflection looking back at me in disappointment. I was trying to get my earring back in, newly pierced just months ago but, it had came out while drying my hair too harshly. It was in a weird spot and I think the hole was clotted up but, that didn't stop me from trying to push it through.

"Come on.  _Please._ " I begged to nothing.

I took it out and placed the earring done on the counter. Sweltering salty pools began to leak from my eyes, leaving small rivers down my cheeks, soft whimpers following along. I looked in watery defeat at the ring, hate for it racing though me but, instead of at the object it was at myself. 

"God, I can't even put in an earring right. What the fuck am I even doing." I choke out between quiet sobs, "I can't even pass as guy at the store, every person calling me sweetheart, or darling."

"I'm so sick of myself, why can't I just be better? I already crush my ribs everyday to at least be comfortable but, fuck it's never enough." I listen to myself, and just let the rivers continue to pour and whimpers turn into loud wails that are dragged out of my throat.

"Why can't I be good enough!" I barely shout out as I place my back against the wall and slide onto the floor, my legs and hands shaking.

I bring myself down before trying to get the earring in against which just brings on another cycle of weeping. After what feels like an eternity in the hell I had brought into myself I hear rasping knocks on the door.

"Clyde?" A soft voice on the other side asked, "Can I come in baby? The door is locked." 

"Yeah just gimme a second." I mutter out before snatching my towel and wrapping it around myself.

"Tsk, like the woman I fucking am." I whisper to myself in anger before just unlocking the door from my spot on the floor.

She's an angel as she walks in, tall and prideful, yet full of worry and care. I probably looked like a snotty kid who just lost his favourite stuffed bear at the park on the floor, knees to my fat stomach. "Clyde love, I heard you crying so I came in. What happened?" 

I couldn't even answer the damn question as more tears poured from my ducts as I buried myself against her chest, sniffling and blubbering about. She just shushed me and ran her soft fingers through my hair, my eyes burning as I clung tight to her. "I'm sorry," was all I could muster to say on repeat.

Eventually I felt the water works stop, just dry sobs and whimpers as she whispered nice things to me, like puppies and rainbows. She helped me up and walked us to the bed we shared, full of pillows, blankets and stuffed animals galore. I laid down and curled up under a fuzzy cloak. She returned with a glass of water, she helped me sit up and sip most of it, reminding me I needed to drink some after crying fits or else I'd just shrivel and die. 

Afterwards she wrapped her arms around me, quietly reminding me of how proud she of me, how much of a person I've grown. How much of a man she knew I was and how she'd help me be more pf one soon once we could get more money. I whispered justa simple, "Thank you." back before closing my eyes and letting my consciousness drift off.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written here before, but I tried. It's just a selfish rant fic that I feel Clyde connected with my crying experiences.


End file.
